I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
