Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
