I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
so much tequila, so little girl.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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