i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
