we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
