I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
