he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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