what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
