i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize