Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You dont lie about slip and slides
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
