I want you more than these girls want KFC
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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