Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Randomize
