Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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