There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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