Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
