I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
