He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
