she was so not down for the gang bang
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
