That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
