i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
