just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
