i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
