he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize