hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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