I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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