is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
