thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
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I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
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do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Pants are for mortals
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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