Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
