I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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