Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize