You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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