420 ftw
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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