Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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