I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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