How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
