I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
