This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
