He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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