We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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