I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
