Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
