There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
