great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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