How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
