I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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