Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
