After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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