Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
