I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
