I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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