why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I love having hate sex.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
