By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
