I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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