those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
PANTIES FOUND
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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