We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
