a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
her facebook's as public as her vagina
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
