I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
