my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
