Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You need a sexual gate keeper
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
