The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
