that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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