Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
how does that bad decision feel?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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