Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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