we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize