can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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