and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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