Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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